Ears to Hear…?

Many have confessed that the year of 2019 was trialing and staking-ly painful. As my own witness to how 20-19 provided many life lessons to take-away, I imagine that most people welcomed 2020 screaming… “WE WANT E-Z!!!” 
Seriously, how often does life visit us with:
• easy decisions to make,
• easy people to love,
• the ease to relax under pressure or whoo-sah under stress?  I guess often enough to keep us hopeful for more… In defense of the trials we must endure to grow, facing complicated situations take skills that today’s overarching culture gives little attention to such as, true self-reflection, unconditional positive regard for self and others, communication to hear and understand, not to talk and defend, which ultimately turns into accountability, forgiveness, and being authentic to self for a healthy YOU, which makes a healthy US – but only if I’m doing these same things. Self-reflection and some honest self-talk begins the work.

With the previous topics being dismissed at the dinner tables, it becomes easy for folks to get caught up within the emotional saga of America’s current state of affairs in government, the spread of the new plague “coronavirus” that insists to increase fear-based living, and the dread Black children are continuously experiencing regarding schools denying their cultural identity causing young Black children to unfortunately have to be taken from enjoying being a kid to learning how to advocate for their civil rights. Just after reading that, a disgruntled reader will beg for fluffy-feel-good reads and scroll through social media news feeds to avoid the pressure of frequent unhappy-happenings. I know I failed to mention many other top stories that poke at the nervous system, such as the story written by nbcnews.com on “12 reasons 2020 will be an awesome year” with one of those reasons being the ability to implant microchips in humans’ brains for the control of therapeutic devices. Hmm…, I don’t like the sound of that…If you have ears to hear, I hope you are listening. For more information on the little details provided in the article, follow the link https://www.nbcnews.com/id/43015182/ns/technology_and_science-innovation/t/reasons-will-be-awesome-year/#.XjOFLWhKiUl 

In light of having it easy, social media has made it extremely difficult for “social medians” not to compare themselves to others, which is a set up for an emotional pit fall. A variety of lifestyles, body images, even sexual experiences are boldly visual throughout personal stories and status feeds for the implantation of persuasion in the brain that is compelled to convince social medians that comparison is productive; and I am wondering where privacy went for the sake of discretion. Who is setting the bar for class these days? It may appear, when observing another person’s lifestyle from your living room window, that your friendly neighbor’s life is blissful. After watching for a while or in your case “scrolling”, you may even begin reflecting upon your own life with a microscopic scope, identifying every little detail that could be different and why you want to experience a change based on a few simple comparisons. No harm intended, I drank the Kool-Aid too once before. This reflection may even encourage you to begin putting one foot in front of the other toward making a difference within your life, causing you to be grateful for the simple comparisons, like changing your eating habits – comparison used for good. Or quite contrary, send you into a down spiraling emotional roller coaster because taking notice of someone else’s life patterns, that by the way, you are only catching a glimpse of from your living room, seem to appear as the benchmark you have set for yourself. Listen, we all are guilty of sizing ourselves up to others we admire, respect, and desire to emulate. Although, I would be remiss if I did not state firmly, “you are the bar for yourself.” 

Take Kobe Bryant for example, who I like to call “The American Kid” who transformed before the public’s eye into “The American Man”.

Kobe Bryant a.k.a. Black Mamba

America was once the country where men would choose a career, choose a wife, create a family, develop a legacy, pass the legacy on to their children or child and the cycle continues to grow the family’s inheritance. That was the American Dream. If your upbringing mimicked any parts of that ideology, you experienced what was assumed to be a greater advantage for a healthier human development. Although the numbers of children being raised in a two-parent household has decreased dramatically since the 80’s, having the opportunity to live the Dream Life was always available to all. The life where you can identify what you want to do on this earth; I prefer “what you are called to do” because that kind of insight comes from within. The life where you can choose who you want to become and the path you want to choose to get there. Did it matter to Kobe that he was not a good basketball player at the age of 11 to pursue his dreams of playing for the Gold? No. Could his father playing professional basketball may have had some influence in his ideals. Sure.  So maybe he began with some comparisons due to his basketball mentors. Ok. But the transformed Kobe illustrated for all to witness, that once you KNOW WHO YOU ARE, when you OWN THE TALENT YOU HAVE BEEN GRACED WITH, you walk with a different swag. You walk away from comparing and you set the bar for achieving. Your language changes. Your words are carefully but boldly spoken. Whom you socialize with changes because iron sharpens iron. More importantly, you no longer seek self-pleasure but to reproduce, YOU. You discover others who you can work with to materialize in them their best self, which is the cycle of life. Become who you need to be for your dreams – then help others achieve their dream.

In Warm Memory of Kobe and Gianna Bryant 

However, you define your dreams that have not yet manifested, even if your dreams include not comparing yourself to others anymore or even starting a family, for 2020 let us start by welcoming all that MMXX has to offer with open arms. The trials that come, such as the personal losses we will endure, will remind us of the work that is still undone. As we sit and reflect on the good deeds others have done such as our dear brother Mr. Bryant, remember too that there is work with your name on it awaiting your arrival. The hard truth is that we must first know who we are and be confident in our own identity before our work greets us with a READY or NOT welcome. Next, instead of sorrowfully moving throughout life because IG feeds appear more glamorous than reality, let us work on being okay with self. As long as you deny you, others will too and your true work will remain incomplete. Lastly, let us take some time away from others to be quiet. Learning how to appreciate the silences will provide true clarity. The clarity you receive in your quiet time will propel you to move toward your dreams. Ok, there is one more tip…, no matter how much you love someone, do not, and I repeat, DO NOT be cheated out of your dreams for love; unless, love has everything to do with your dreams.