An overdue post always seem to come to mind at the right time. Times when loss has occurred, feeling lost is overwhelmingly powerful, and the answer is yet, right in front of us. Since last year, much has transpired within our land. So much so that the idea of rehashing everything would seem to only scratch at a healing wound, at least for me anyway. As I prepared myself to write this post, after an entire year, I thought who’s listening anyway; what is really most necessary for inspiration during the most rapidly moving moments of our time that makes me grit my teeth; and am I even in the best space to encourage, enlighten, and empower considering my own absence…
Loss will wake you up. (e.g. losing someone)
Losing someone through death or the deadening of a relationship are both numbing to the psyche. This may of course depend on length of time and significance of relationship. However, after my most recent experiences of “losing”, the term losing started to make me feel inure to the moments of life; almost as if my GO button was stuck, there was no feeling, but much movement. When feeling returned to my body, feeling returned with a rush and then everything began to settle into some awkward forming structure that would ultimately create a symbol reading as a sign that would direct my body to move, even while my mind still had to catch up. This is what “loss” does… it forces a separation among your mind, body, and spirit and laughs at you while you are discombobulated. But then, your mind starts listening to your spirit, which begins to feed you back what you once fed it; and the two reunite.
What have you fed your spirit? […The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. Matthew 26:41]
I will share with you what my spirit began to feed back to me during a time when my mind had shut down: “What did you learn about “you” from the experience of loss?” “What did you gain internally from the loss?” “What memories will you hold on to?” “How will you not use your memories as a crutch?” “The relationship was a blessing at a point in time.” “You can’t be angry forever.” “God prepared you for this very moment.” “You are not alone.” “God hasn’t forgotten you.”
Lost will detour your path. (i.e. extend your stay too long)
The person you love… has departed the earth; has walked out of your life unexpectedly; has had to yield to your care totally dependent on you; has shut the door on you all’s relationship without a fight; has disconnected emotionally but physically shows up out of feelings of obligation or maybe hope, and you, count time. As the timekeeper, you have noticed how each slow reaching minute passes through seconds and how seconds pass through milliseconds and how with each new minute, you feel the same. Nothing much has changed. Although your life button is on GO, your mind is moving at a slower pace because you are LOST wondering “what has happened?”, “what is about to happen?” or “what will happen at some point?” The only safe place is in your head with your memories because at least, you know those are real, while everything and everyone else is suspect. Lesson #1 Get OUT of YOUR head.
For me, I wondered, “I didn’t sign off on this one.” For my friend who lost her father, I’m sure she thought, “What could I have done differently?” For my friend who has to watch her father lose his vigor, she’s constantly thinking, “I will never be prepared for what’s coming.” For those who have lost mobility, jobs, dreams, their way all so suddenly, I’m sure no one was ever ready for what they were forced to face. But, WE are here. What will we do? Here’s what my mind started telling my body:
-Love. Get around people you love and people who love you.
-Laugh. Every chance you get, laugh; find opportunities to laugh or make them up yourself; or watch a comedy.
-Travel. Explore unseen places and old paths with good ole memories. Create new memories.
-Work. Make money. Love what you do when you are working. With the money you make, pay bills; then shop.
-Rest. Get a good nights sleep. Allow your body to rest and restore itself. Do not avoid the quiet time, instead put on soothing music to gradually calm you into a snooze.
-Exercise. Give your body a chance to release the tension. Whatever you choose to do, work your body into a sweat.
-Eat Fresh. Fill your body up with good nutrients that will give your body energy, not zap the energy from your body.
-Pray. Meditate. Feed your spirit FIRST. Fill your spirit with stillness and righteousness.
-Cry. Whenever feelings rush you like a flood, step back and let them through. Don’t hold them in space. Cry.
Written by: Dr. Fuller
